Photoshop perhaps...

I have to admit that perhaps one of my larger faults is becoming so used to something that when it comes down to it I refuse to completely open up to the idea of changing/updating said thing... as it is I've grown up using photoplus as an editing program and so have rarely used Photoshop at all but now I'm faced with a conundrum of sorts- by using 'actions' I could cut my editing time by at least 40% which would be a smart step forward in the career of a photographer- especially one dealing with photo-shoots as a whole that all need similar editing- yet PhotoPlus doesn't have this ability. But, on the other hand I find PhotoPlus a lot more user friendly and , for lack of better words - Easy and accessible! 

I suppose i should take 2013 in my stride though and stop always holding onto things of the past.

Today as I searched through boxes and boxes of the items that have influenced and effected who I am today, while searching for photo's for my college brief of 'documentation' I realised how much I've changed in just a few years and not just in growing wider -_-

 These past few years have hardened my outlook I think and I've become a lot more openly expressive of things that upset/anger me. I don't particularly think these are bad qualities in many cases but in some ways I really wish things didn't effect me as much as they do. I've put up with ALOT the past 2-3 years but the core parts of me are still there. The me that would happily listen to a friend for hours and hours in time of crisis and do all that I can to cheer them up and help them in any way possible. the me that would try and comfort a stranger if I felt they truly needed it. The me that wants to think everyone has good in them even though these days I'm finding it harder and harder to find it in some  people. The me that ... well to be honest there's so much too me that I still feel there inside me but these days I feel that to outsiders they're blurry and misshapen qualities within me - if there at all and that worries me. I've felt myself start retreating into myself and become someone that cuts myself off from other people sometimes because it's become harder for me to trust that people like me or think i'm good enough for their company and sometimes I convince myself that they really DO think i'm not worthy of their time.

My Niece Aimee is having NONE of my excuses though :P She's telling me 2013 is the year to make change and her word is final so - we'll see :P

 Love always,

Luciie Panda

xXx